Mothers on Motherhood: Fritha & Wilf

Fritha & Wilf 1

blog: Tigerlily Quinn

facebook: Tigerlily Quinn

When Josie asked me if I would like to contribute to this series I was thrilled. I've loved the entries so far and having spent over a year now blogging about my life as a mother (amongst other things) I thought it would be a breeze. In fact what I did find was that it was extremely hard to sum up my experience of being a mother so far, but here we go I shall try my best.

I have always wanted to be a mum. Ever since I was a little girl playing with my dolls, or role playing 'families' with friends in infant school, I always knew I wanted that for my future. Even in later life, choosing options like university and career roles were always in my mind the thing you did before you had a family, for me motherhood was the ultimate goal. 

That being said it has been a long road to get to where we are now. Although Wilfryd is my first child I have been pregnant three times, my road to motherhood wasn't an easy one so when we had 'passed' the safety of the 12 week mark I made an effort to enjoy every aspect of the rest of my pregnancy and his birth which was a wonderful experience.

It was a shock to me then when I found out that I didn't take to motherhood immediately. My first three months of Wilf's life were in parts horrendous mixed in with little bits of amazing. I struggled hugely with breastfeeding, I cried constantly and I winced/shook and screamed and curled my toes through mastitis, I felt completely lost and overwhelmed. The only thing that got me through those weeks without jumping off a bridge was Tom. 

Then somewhere around 12 weeks things seemed to change, I always loved Wilf but the intensity of my love for him seemed to explode, it was like I had come out of some strange fog and suddenly everything seemed to click into place. I'm so glad we got through those first tough months, breastfeeding became a hugely enjoyable experience, one we are still at 14 months enjoying and those boosts of oxytocin got me through every tiring day after yet another sleepless night. It's such a pleasure and honer to spend my days with him, watch him develop and share jokes with him, I will certainly be sad when he realises I'm not the funniest person in the world. 

Wilf is now a year old and with every month I enjoy being a mother more and more, I'm not saying it's all easy and you better believe that glass of wine has been poured and is being drank as soon as the clock hits 6.30 but truly its the best thing that has ever happened to me. Becoming a mother strips you of your selfishness, there's no space for it. You will never experience a feeling like the love you feel for your child, that primal 'I would kill for you if it came to it' soul wrenching feeling. 

The first year of Wilf's life has been very intense and perhaps so has been our way of parenting, co-sleeping breastfeeding and the fact my closest family member lives 6 hours away has meant I've barely spent more then 3 occasions without Wilf and then only for a few hours. Despite always wanting to be a mother I don't necessarily think that means that has to be your sole role in life once you become one. I think it is hugely important to pursue your own passions and in fact its probably quite healthy to make sure you do once in a while! I think this year will mark a new chapter in being a mother and also trying to start up a business. I'll let you know how that goes!

If I could give three tips to someone about to embark on this amazing adventure it would be:

Those first few months are the hardest, I promise it will get better.

Dont feel bullied into making any decision you are not happy with, you know your child better than any health visitor/doctor/mother/mother-in-law/well meaning friend/neighbour/random person you met at a playgroup.

Make sure you find a group of mum friends you can share/rant/moan/enjoy this experience with be it in 'real life' or online support from other parents can mean so much.

Thanks Josie for letting me be part of this beautiful series, I am looking forward to reading about more inspiring mothers! x

I remember finding Fritha's blog when I was pregnant so it's kind of an honour to have her grace these virtual pages! Thanks so much Fritha :)

Reading these makes me realise how as mothers we're all united through our shared experiences but how they're all also completely unique to us. Pretty amazing stuff.

'Til next time folks. And if you want to be featured drop me a line ohyouprettythingsuk@gmail.com :)