Mothers & Motherhood: Abigail & Theo

Happy Monday folks, hope you're feeling good today. After yesterday's gorgeous sunshine I feel ready for a brand new week. 

And starting it off as usual is this week's Mothers on Motherhood. Which I'm pleased to say features another blogger I admired from afar back when I was pregnant and I wondered how anyone managed to have time to look after a baby and run a blog, not to mention everything else!

Abigail & Theo 2

blog: Abigail and the future

twitter: myworriedshoes

instagram: goldteeth

Hi, my name is Abigail and I'm the mother of a two year old...let's just say that again, a TWO year old.

How on earth that happened I have no idea. I know you've all heard and probably said it ten thousand million times, but my gosh does time go fast when you're a mother. But still I feel like I don't quite have my head around a lot of this motherhood lark. When I have to refer to Theo as my son it feels weird, and I feel weird saying 'oh my son this, my son that...' like I have a son? Sorry what? Last time I checked I was a carefree young twenty something and now I have a two year old son, I'm rapidly sprouting grey hairs and have lots of wobbly bits!

Just to recap and fill you in a little bit if you don't already know our story, but back in 2010 we were just finishing university when we found out I was pregnant. It was all a bit of a whirlwind, Rob and I had only been together for a short while when we found out, we had no plans for the future, no money and certainly no home together, but still at the tender age of 23 (me) and 21 (him) we decided to become parents. We left university and our old lives and a few months later were living in Bristol together in Rob's parents house, that lasted a short while before we decided that what was most important was that we started to build a home for our soon expanding family. We didn't have much, but I guess it was enough. Theo joined us in late January, and as expected our lives changed forever. 

The first year went by in an expected blur, and we were amazed constantly at this being we had created. Watching a human being grow from a tiny helpless little creature to the expressive, talking, naughty, funny, charming, clever, fearless little boy he is today has been the most amazing, and yes sometimes frustrating, journey we've ever been on. 

But here's the thing, it suddenly dawned on me when we were nearing Theo's second birthday that that's it, we have a child. Not just a baby for a couple of years to nurture and raise, but a child who is going to be with us for the rest of our lives, who we are going to influence, mold and shape to be a young adult going out into the world. Somehow I couldn't think further than the baby part when thinking about becoming a parent and sometimes it intimidates me to think that we are responsible for this child for the rest of our lives.

For me looking back, despite the sleeplessness, I really enjoyed the baby part. It was simpler in a way, feeding, sleeping (or lack of) and mild entertainment, but now, a toddler requires so much more of me. That might sound selfish, but it's not meant to be, just that as well as giving your body and energy to this seemingly tireless toddler you have to give so much of your mind too. Every day teaching lessons, words, creating games, providing guidance, discipline, educating, giving comfort and encouragement...it's a lot. It really makes you take a good look at yourself and what you want to inspire in your child, and it certainly makes you keep your swearing in check! I'm not going to lie, it's exhausting, but what I realised is that it is all the more rewarding. I loved the baby part, but this, I wouldn't swap it. 

Just today Theo and I were eating lunch, and Theo started to say something about the Fat Controller's hat (he's a little bit obsessed with Thomas) it took a few goes to work out what he was saying, but in the end I managed to figure out that he was telling me a little story that he remembered from Thomas about the Fat Controller's hat flying off in the wind. It just amazed me, this is the start of story telling and his imagination and really being able to see what's going on in his head. He was having a conversation with me, and he was leading it, telling me something HE wanted to tell me. And this, if nothing else makes me so excited for the future and having this little boy in our lives forever. 

I love this, it makes me so excited for when Amelie's a toddler. I can see how exhausting it must be, especially when they're actually walking (oh my gosh) but so much more fun when they can talk to you.

Thank you Abigail! And you can tell Theo I love Thomas the Tank Engine too ;)